Persevere...

So, these have been a trying few weeks. I am currently in the middle of resitting some exams. Exams on which my future literally depends. The outcome of these tests will influence the rest of my life, to some degree. Further, I am blindly stumbling through a spiritual crisis and balancing home and family troubles simultaneously.

I have been meaning to write on perspective for some weeks now, but I have not felt ready. I want to sit and write on understanding and perceiving the world - its technical brilliance and rich history. I want to write articles for those whose life is crumbling and tell them to strive forward. That the good and bad in life do not taint one another.

This is not an eloquent, redrafted and refined post. It is a chance to vent. To open up and say "I want to write, I want to explore - but I am tired, I am stressed. Inside I am shutting down - yet I am pushing on

 ...I am not done yet"

Image Owner: Kimiagar

Horizons

Name: Samuel

Age: 20

Passion:...

Interesting, isn't it? How no CV, job application or interview asks for your passion in life. While each wants to get to know you, they all manage to miss this most important question. Instead they tend to focus on the academic achievements of your youth, and the hobbies you keep presently."Why yes, I got three As in my exams, and my hobbies include golfing and walking the dog." 

Quite unfortunate really...

It is unfortunate because this is not the measure of a person. You are so much more than this. What I feel truly defines you, is your passion in life. Everybody has a passion. An aspect of the world which fulfils them. An aspect that acts as a driving force and as a foundation for dreams. I place great importance in passion. It is neither a letter on the page, nor, necessarily, a socially accepted past-time. Your passion can be anything - any aspect of the world you please. It is not defined by culture. Nor by race, religion or social standing. The only criterion your passion requires is your full and undivided enthusiasm and enjoyment.

My passion in life, I am sure you are dying to know, is travelling. I look out of my window and can picture the rolling hills, rocky crags and dense forests that lie beyond the horizon. More than that, I picture myself exploring them. Journeying and adventuring. And nothing makes me happier. The feeling of elation is one you'll fully understand if you too have discovered your passion in life. I find myself, on occasion, wishing I was born elsewhere. Somewhere more rugged and rural. Somewhere with lakes and woods, rather than takeaways and pubs - that would be ideal. Honestly, I do not feel I will be completely happy until I can spend the majority of my life travelling, and exploring my passion.

It has started raining...

While I enjoy the sound of rain thudding off my window, I cannot help but think about those distant fields and forests. It will be raining there too. More than that, it will be pouring - and the wind will howl. The storm, so easily deflected at home, will bear down on these wild places. And I long to be there, experiencing.

I sincerely hope that you can relate to this feeling. That you too are this passionate about something - anything. I hope that you have found your passion and drive in life. If you have not, then remember...

...it is out there.

Image Owner: daylong

Shoulders of Giants

There is a simple joy in cycling. It reminds me of a time, not long since passed. A time of lazy days, quiet villages and empty roads. So, as I cycled the ten miles out into the countryside, I felt conflicted. You see, every overhanging tree and chirping songbird was ruined by spluttering exhausts and noxious fumes. The horses and carts have given way to horsepower and burning rubber. Despite the journey's mixed signals - of gorgeous flowers and choking exhaust vapours, I reached my friend's home feeling upbeat.

The reason for my excursion? An adventure.

I was to stay the night at my friend's home. In the morning we would meet with others and head across the county border to explore Brimham Rocks - an area full of unique and precarious rock formations. And this, dear reader, is what we did.

Now, Brimham Rocks is unique. Awe inspiring and interesting. It is a place of history and heritage, a landmark of sorts. Having said that, boys will be boys - and boys like to climb big rocks. Hence, the day was spent climbing, negotiating, and jumping between the site's formations. I was also reminded of an obscure fear, a compulsion of mine. And I was reminded whilst atop a 40ft high rock. Don't fret, it's not a fear of heights - it is much worse.

I fear to be on top of tall structures, because I feel a compulsion to throw myself off.

It's a peculiar feeling. To look over the edge, straight down 40 feet and think to yourself "What if I were to jump?" As much as I try to rationalise my thoughts, it is still there - the voice in the back of my mind. "Go on Sam, we've never jumped off something so high before, let's see what will happen." I know what would happen, but I have to climb down. I have to climb back down because the longer I am up there, the greater the compulsion to throw both caution, and myself, to the wind. I am sure there are others in a similar boat. Others who occasionally hear a mischievous voice whispering in their ear, convincing them to go against sensibility and rationality. While you want to silence it, this voice howls and wails until the opportunity it saw has passed. So I climb down, and let the opportunity for a spectacular and ill-equipped skydive pass.

If there's a take-home message, or pearl of wisdom in my brief  adventure, it is the sense of achievement. In a world increasingly occupied by video games, and convenient living, a sense of achievement is easy to come by. What I rediscovered, while choosing to conquer 40 feet of shapeless sediment, was this -

Aim high, and achieve for yourself. While anyone can 'stand on the shoulders of giants', it is a greater feat to climb up there in the first place.

Image Owner: Stephanie (Violet Danger)

Beyond

Q) Have you ever considered running?
A) Every day of my life...

An abundance of events warrant you wanting to run away. Unfortunately, most are quite negative. Whether you have lost a loved one, or let someone down, it is natural to feel like escaping. Running off - impossibly fast and indescribably far...

But, those are discussions we can save for another time. Today we are in a brighter mood.

At least once a day I consider leaving. It may be over breakfast, or while I am in the shower - but at least once a day I consider it. Retreating back into my mind, I list the pros and cons of packing a bag, kissing goodbye and venturing off, into the unknown.

Pros - Complete freedom. Adventure. People to meet and places to go. A plethora of villages, forests, rivers and hills to explore...

Cons - Money. Lack of food and shelter. No security. Time without my loved ones...

Every day I seriously weigh up the options - playing it out in my head. And every day I say to myself "not today Sam... But one day." Well let me tell you, 'one day' cannot come soon enough. You see, this want to travel is an itch. You can try to ignore it - put it at the back of your mind, forget for a while. But every time you delay your journey, or ignore the itch, it becomes louder. As each day passes, you become more convinced that the itch needs scratching. That you need to escape your comfort zone, into the wide world beyond.

The journey I dream about is not a cheap holiday, nor a week away. This journey seems grander. Starting at the front door, with a bag and tent, I will walk. It requires neither planning nor direction, but could take months to complete. I do not know for how long I would be gone, and I don't know where my travels would take me...

But that is the fun, isn't it?

I sincerely hope that you can relate. That you too have thought of running. Of leaving behind your comfort zone, and your possessions, in order to experience something more. Something unique, and personally remarkable...

Image Owner: Cindy's Here

The Eye of the Storm

I have been sitting, considering my third post for over half an hour. There is no shortage of ideas - quite the contrary, I feel inundated with options and avenues to take you down. But as I explore the stories and opinions I wish to share, it hits me. A new firework of thought bursts into being. Bigger and brighter than what came before. My tales are put on hold - filed away. Ladies and gentlemen, we have our course.

I am somewhat surprised that it didn't hit me sooner...

 Like the majority of people, I have a job. It is a simple, old-fashioned job - I work behind a bar. Similar to everybody else's jobs, there are quiet shifts and there are busy shifts. Today's was a 'rushed-off-your-feet, sweating and gasping for breath' shift - with more customers than I have ever experienced. Customers who become increasingly drunk and increasingly difficult as the night grinds on.

"As a biologist I can't condone serving six more shots, especially after seeing you throw your guts up outside - but as a barman, jager or aftershock sir?" I resist the sarcastic commentary and pour the drinks. The night continues in much the same fashion, with the pace and the work becoming exhausting - I am thankful to finish.

So this is why I am surprised it did not hit me sooner. Sitting in my small room, curled up in an armchair - I am in the eye of a storm. I am sure you have also found yourself in such situations. Everything in life becomes loud and hectic, your attention being drawn in every direction. By working hard and striving forward you are able to earn some peace - some time to yourself. But this is just the eye. Things will build up again. There will always be turmoil and difficulty - they come with life. You will have to work hard, exert yourself and push forward.

And I sincerely hope you have the strength to do this...

However, my aim was not to wish you strength and luck. When I began writing I wanted to draw your attention to this quiet moment - this eye of the storm. When life's difficulties have you surrounded, screaming and shouting for attention, remember this. In this hesitant moment of calm, you have your health and you have time for yourself. Make the most of it. Disregard the chaos to come and the hardships already passed - make the most of this beautiful, serene, empty moment...

Because it too, will soon pass.

Image Owner: DaneLehman

The Beaten Track

I have always loved writing. Allowing thoughts to collide with ideas and inspiration, in a way never before conceived. Combining the familiar, warm words in new ways for the delight and interest of whoever might chance across them.

For me, writing is akin to a walk in the woods. The beginning is always difficult. Where do you start? You struggle to find your way, often becoming turned round - lost and confused before you have even begun. Eventually, thankfully, you will locate the beaten path or dirt track you wish to follow. As you meander down this path, your pace becomes fluid - slowing at key events or themes, as one might slow to enjoy the flowers, before hurrying on again. And while you continue forwards, leaving the path here and there to explore the undergrowth that gives your work its dimension, you are safe in the knowledge that you know which direction you are heading in.

To begin truly is the hardest part of writing. I enjoy the sense of achievement felt upon clambering through the thickets and hedgerows that cloud my mind, reaching the well-travelled path beyond. It is not dissimilar to solving a puzzle. In one brief flash, one moment of clarity, you make sense of the jumbled information and it all falls into place. Why then, with such a passion for putting pen to page, have I avoided writing for years?

The blame lies rightly with my old English teacher, who allowed hindrance and criticism to take the place of support and nurture. While she put me off at first, it is a mantra of sorts that has convinced me to begin scrawling my thoughts for the world to see. I have come across different approaches to life in books, film, through the people I know and once during a midnight conversation with a Greek man in an underground Manchester bar. And while everyone has a different approach to living life, I am content with my own little 'mantra'...

Do what makes you happy

Regardless of the money you earn, the places you go, the people you meet and the ones you leave behind -

Always do what makes you happy.

Image Owner: Wilfred Thomas

Incandescence

There are few situations that infuriate me more than an instance where my head is ready to burst, and I've nothing to put down on the page.

I'm sure everybody has these moments - moments where fantastical, absurd, bizarre and intriguing ideas bounce around in the old grey matter. You feel inspired, creative and eager to fashion some great literary work, write a perfect song or pen a revolutionary political statement...

But you can't.

You can't because these thoughts are similar to fireworks. They appear in the darkness, impossibly bright and indescribably dynamic. These rockets and Roman candles are sudden, screaming, stunning. But they are also fleeting. Rapidly disappeared. No sooner have you perceived them than they have dissipated into the darkness. And just as you might struggle to snap a photo before the firework fades in the sky, you cannot sum up your ideas with words as they have escaped you once more.

And so, this is how I find myself staring off into space, with the dull thudding of rain against my window to keep me company. Frustrated and wrapped up in my own fireworks.

At least I've managed to get one down on the page though.

image owner: Corey.C