Pause. Reflect.

Only 4pm... I've already been awake 12 hours.

The tossing and turning exam stress induces makes sleep difficult. While there's nothing but jitters and nervous anticipation on the surface, you feel your insides churning.
We're past that now - free of stress and life changing responsibility for another five months. Exams are in the past and I'm returning north. The stone towers of the city recede, submitting to hills and valleys doused in white. Snowfall has left my home looking somewhat pretty. It's funny how acres can change in a day's absence.

It's difficult to write about the snow. Within itself, it is an empty canvas - blank as the page I'm trying to fill. There's nothing to be inspired by the pale hills, nor the frozen sky. All they do is reflect. Amongst this icy uniform I find the time to breathe, appreciating that winter's stress is behind me. I will need these few days to gather my thoughts, recuperate and brace myself for the onslaught.

When all is said and done, life is reduced to this - a series of struggles. Interrupted only by preparation for the next.

If, by chance, I am not arming and readying myself - I'm already out in the fray.

Image Owner: Emersonreference

Clear

This does feel strange. Finally able to take a break and pen something.

With the start of my final year at university came early starts, late nights and an abundance of coursework. As a result I haven't had much time to dedicate to writing. Being in my final year I also have to look ahead to what I will be doing in a year. People are very fond of asking 'what will you do when you graduate?' when they learn you're nearly finished.

"What will you do when you graduate? Sam, what will you do when you've graduated? What are you going to do? When you graduate, Sam, what will you do?" To be quite honest I'm sick of the question because I don't know. All I know for sure is that I will be taking a year off. I have been in education since turning 4 years old and have not stopped. I feel I've earned a rest. So I will take a year for myself - it is my life after all, right? Hopefully I will get a chance to travel, and to write. Whether it be for my blog, for magazines, or for a book - I intend to keep up with my writing. After this year of travelling, writing (and likely working) I suppose I'll take a look at the future properly. Perhaps continue with education, start a career, maybe even make something out of writing.

Also, as I eluded to above, there has been talk of a book. Originally it started with my grandmother asking if I 'felt I had a book in me' to which I reminded her that I haven't lived enough life to write a postcard, never mind a book. Then, slowly over the past few months, more people asked. I discussed what I would like to write, what I feel I am capable of writing, and why I would bother writing in the first place (as much as I'm supposed to be interested in getting published or making money, I'd be content writing a book for the sake of cataloguing my experiences - the rest is just a bonus, should it come to that).

So there we have it, with my short break I have cleared my head and made a 'plan' for the future. Apologies if you were reading and thinking 'when will he write about something interesting? When will he use a metaphor or sneak some crafty life lesson into this?' Sometimes you just need to take five minutes, assess and put your mind at rest.

We'll resume normal programming shortly...

Image Owner: * ismail *

The Fall

'This is the way the world ends

Not with a bang but a whimper'

Ok, so the world is not ending, but the season is. It began earlier this week; shorter days, cooler temperatures and a distinct lack of blue sky. Summer seems to have passed us by in the north of England, as ever.
I had hoped the season would end in a flourish of brilliant sunshine and soaring temperatures. Summer seems to have a better idea. Summer intends to slope off, gradually fading into Autumn before anyone has the chance to ask where it's off to. Summer is the quiet girl at the party who slinks away after an hour or so - going home for the night because the music's too loud and her friends are too drunk.

For a lot of people Summer is the season. Perhaps it's the heat, the green on the trees or the blue up above. Or perhaps these people realise what comes after. The birds migrate, the leaves fall and Summer's bright colours fade into grey. For the majority, Summer is a brief 'warm-up' act - the year's headline performance is six months of icy winds and thrashing rain. It's easy to see why people are so attached to Summer.

Summer, however, is not for me. I find Autumn much more appealing. From the morning's frost-bitten lawns to the evening's inky-black, star-littered skies. I love seeing my own breath (as a child I pretended to be a dragon!), and I love the smell of smoke from chimneys and garden fires. Autumn for me is Halloween. It is treacle toffee and roaring bonfires. Autumn is fireworks, thick clothes and hot chocolate. While it is a little disheartening to see Summer on her deathbed, I am quite content.

...Autumn is coming.

Image Owner: Donna St. Pierre